Many people believe meditating is a vague and esoteric practice which doesn’t fit into daily life. To simply sit giving conscious attention to the present moment and to inner self – in the middle of our hectic days this can seem an unattainable bit of peace, a self-indulgent luxury. I admit, sometimes I forget. I forget who I am at heart. I find myself confused, unfocused. There are days when I lose compassion for my own self, berating my human faults and foibles. Those days, I know I have not been meditating enough.
This morning I lit a stick of nag champa and brought flame to the candles in the four corners as I slowly circled my meditation room counter clockwise. I made an offering of fresh water, grapes and nuts to the hungry ghosts in my life as I circled again. I rang tingshas and requested that I be free of my own monkey mind as I circled yet again. Reversing direction I bowed to the elements as I circled the room. I requested that my higher self and various guides join me as I circled again. In circling the third time I asked for strength, clarity and wisdom.
Sitting in lotus I placed one hand on my yoni and one on my heart and began to follow the breath moving through me. Thoughts of friends in pain and need, released with an exhale. Immediately followed by feelings of frustration for places I cannot or have not been allowed to bring peace, released with an exhale. Bringing life and light and space into my body with each inhalation. Judgment of my personal and worldly attachments, released with an exhale. Compassion and love and gratitude drawn into my cells with each inhalation… Sitting in silence, my minds eye gently watching the waves of breath moving within and back out, finding connection to the air. Feeling the hardwood on my buttocks and the coiled tension in my spine, finding connection to earth. Feeling the heartbeat in my ears, the blood flowing in my veins, finding connection to the waters. Feeling the tingling begin in my palms, in my genitals, in my heart, finding connection to fire. Placing my attention on my forehead, just above and between my eyes, the third eye, finding connection to the ether… inspiration, letting go, inspiration, letting go, inspiration, letting go… Gradually I opened my eyes, softly resting them on Quan Yin, and I thanked her for her compassion.
What did I need to create this desperately needed ceremony for myself? Intuition and intention, this was not a ceremony of any specific tradition… some food, water, candles, incense, a chime. Total time, fifteen minutes.
I offer you the reality that there is always time for grace in this moment.
